Solo Dolo.

The truth? At least a year, but I have no definitive answer for you.

Once you’ve been cheated on and don’t leave the person who cheated on you – at least the next year of your life will be spent wondering if that person is going to cheat on you again. You’ll be thrown into a world of untrusting, heartache, jealousy, pain, rage, and hate. You’ll live your every waking moment away from that person wondering what they’re doing, who they’re talking to, and when they’re going to put themselves in a position to hurt you again, which will be daily. Every moment spent with that person will be pretty much okay because you have their attention but once you lose that attention to a phone, or facebook, or some other means of interacting with another person… all bets are off. Every phone call or text message with someone else will drive you into a state of angsty heart breaking wondering about who they’re talking to and what it’s about.

You’ll obsess over it with every second that passes by because it’s your heart we’re talking about here. Why wouldn’t you? You’ve given them your heart once and they destroyed it. In they beginning, they’ll try hard but they’ll continue to make similar mistakes by testing your bounds with seemingly little to no regard for the state of your heart until it’s too late. Your heart will no longer be in pieces – It will now be in the form of little fine dust that has no recognizable format.

One thing I would have done differently through the entire process:

The best thing to do to avoid this situation is to provide blanket statements about all your expectations right up front in the very beginning. Everything about what you’ll allow or not allow and postfix them all individually with a clause that you will leave immediately if these rules are broken. If you don’t reprogram this up front then you’re setting yourself up for a world of hurt later.

She’ll ask about your feelings and how you’re coping with the hurt and you should tell her even if it’s stupid. When she realizes the answer that you gave is not the answer that she expected she’ll get upset. Most likely at herself but she’ll call you selfish and jealous and direct her frustrations about herself at you. You’ll remind her that she cheated on you over and over again like a broken record, and you’ll both be hurt every time it’s brought up. Although that sucks for both parties, you have every right to do that until you’re completely over it. If she can’t accept the consequences of what she’s done that’s fine. Only two things could happen from it.

1. She’ll eventually change and learn over time to be who you need her to be and your relationship might be stronger after that.
2. She’ll give up trying to be someone she’s not and finally set you free like she should have done. She’ll move on to cheating on someone else and continue on her path of unhappiness until she finds the one for her.

Hopefully it’s number one.

The things you tell her about your feelings will make absolutely no logical sense but that’s the way it is I guess.

If you can grasp the following statement then you’ll feel a lot better about yourself and be able to hold your composure in the relationship much better:

You can’t control what she does. You can’t control who she talks to. If she’s going to cheat on you again then she’s going to do it and there’s nothing you can do about it short of locking her up in a box with no communications to the outside world. You don’t want to put her in that situation so just learn to accept it.

It’s her choice to ruin her life and forever, her choice, it will remain.

That’s all I know for now. I’ll update this post or you’ll find another post about the subject matter here on my blog if that feeling ever goes away.

http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS457US458&sugexp=chrome,mod=9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=Have+you+ever+had+that+feeling+when+you+realize+you+only+wanted+it+because+someone+told+you+you+wanted+it%3

Google says get out in a i’mnotogoingtomatchanyarticlesforyouandtellyouwhatireallythink kind of way.

NO NAMES ARE MENTIONED IN THIS POST

Most of the time I come off condescending and rude to people when I really don’t mean to. But how do I tell someone that there’s something they haven’t completed and I need them to complete it in order for me to finish my side of the job.  I would say something like “I’ve spoken with X and we agreed that there is no need to complete this section because it was not ever positioned to go out into production. I’ve decided to wait for the final implementation to be completed before continuing my work on that todo.” Instead I’ve been instructed to  push the ball over to X and say “X, you know more about this than I do. Can you fill everyone in on the progress of this todo?”

When bringing up anything negative about someone else: If they know about the issues, let them repeat them. If they don’t, let the superiors know and they’ll use their powers of inception to get it done.

“You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn’t complicate your life. Somebody who won’t hurt you.”

when you find yourself paying for a girl when nothing even happened. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Today, I woke up with a really empty feeling in the larger part of my heart that friendship occupies. It has hit me that, soon, I won’t be able to see many of the people that I enjoy on a day to day basis so it is now time to make the most of it. I may not even see those people on a day to day basis but just knowing that I have access to them whenever I need makes me feel at home. People do come and go, and that’s just it… They come, they go, and you are always here… no matter where you happen to be. Thank god for online social networking right? No, it’s just not the same. So carpe diem and all that good stuff. Let me live it like today is the last day I’ll see you and lets make every time together better than the last

-Alvin

Grinding till my grand son’s set.

I think I may have found my chance! yeah boi. However I do need to focus more on dealbk again. I’ve been slacking off on it really hard and that is not good. Contract work is only good for so long. As long as you are contracting, you are still working or someone else.

No one in the class got the last problem on our midterm. NO ONE.

He told us and we loled.

Went downtown this weekend for sxsw and saw a lot of crazy stuff. By far the best and craziest of it all was this band we ended up seeing at the Blind Pig. They’re a ska band so naturally I was hooked from the beginning but they were actually good! Go check them out when you have a chance, you won’t be disappointed  by what you find.

This morning, instead of my normal, quiet, walk to class I saved a girl from getting run over. I was walking to my data mining class ~9:00 in the morning when I noticed this girl txting while waiting in the street corner (not on the sidewalk) for the crosswalk to go white… how dumb! Had she not been txting she would have noticed the full steel, heavy duty pickup truck that was barreling down the road and trying to make a left turn over her. I grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the sidewalk and her reaction wasn’t exactly what I was expecting; She actually smiled at me instead of questioning why I grabbed her arm. I told her she was about to get run over; She laughed and continued to txt whoever it was on the other side of the screen.

Unless they ask explicitly, they aren’t asking you to help them solve their problems; They’re actually asking for emotional understanding.